Love Me, Love My Licker
by DeadlyFriend
Summary: In a world where humans and monsters thrive together, illegal breeding of Lickers brings Agent Kennedy to the rescue!


Title: Love Me, Love My Licker

Pairing: Claire/Leon

Summary: A little short in an Alternate Universe.

Notes: Unedited fun in an Alternate Universe where monsters and humans have lived together for years!

Author Notes: I have NO idea where this came from. No idea what inspired it. All I know is that it's lunacy and I loved writing it and now it's here!

xxxx

Leon Kennedy hooked his jacket over his shoulder and removed his sunglasses in order to get a better look at the place in front of him.

The outer decor wasn't much to go on, with peeling paint here and broken wood there. To say the perimeter fencing was in need of repair was an understatement. Big holes here, small holes there, aged wood and out of shape wire there.

The grassier parts were slightly overgrown, too, though the bushes and flowers had been tended to by loving hands, and his gaze followed the sunflowers. He guessed those stems were a good eight to ten feet high, with bright and vivid flowers that all pointed towards the sun.

Everything pointed towards the light, he noted as he took a better look about him. How the windows were far larger on the sunny side of life while the windows to the west were smaller in size but of a greater number.

_Custom, then. Somebody likes to live._

The building itself was pretty spiffy as far as architecture went. It was an ecclectic mix of modern tastes and trimmings with all the menace of Gothic era style, the combination of which shouldn't have worked, but it did.

The monsters looked scary as all to hell. Tyrants, for example, were a clear eight feet tall and had chests the size of boulders. Then there were the Nemesis bunch. Their faces were ninety per cent skin and ten per cent skeleton.

Nemesis.

The race name was given by some scruffy 6-year-old kid with no front teeth. Rumour had it that the Nemesis Alpha patriarch laughed for a good hour straight and took the name.

The agent shook his head.

He liked the monsters well enough. Hell knew, his most trusted friend on the force was a Tyrant, but monsters weren't his speciality.

Humans were.

So why the hell this job came through to him? The only reason why he was here and not Barry Burton was that the perps were humans.

It was a thought that made him feel like he'd just sucked lemons.

_Better get in there. See what's going on._

He took the few steps in a quick jog and the level of security made his eyes bleed.

Fingerprint scanners, multiple internal locks, buzzer, voice recognition, and ten bucks said if he looked up, there would be...

Leon gave a low whistle.

Ten-inch thick solid steel shutters could be seen, ready to be dropped at a moment's notice, and he leaned back to glance along the windows to both his left and right. Same thing. Solid steel shutters lay over each and every piece of glass.

_Miss Redfield believes she has a reason for paranoia. She's either scared or she's paranoid. Probably both. Though why a woman like her would be scared is anyone's guess._

He pressed the button.

_"Identify yourself and state your business."_

"Agent Leon Kennedy from the Bureau of Investigative Services to see Miss Redfield."

_"One moment, please._

Leon blew out a breath and wondered if the place had a cafe or somewhere he could get a decent coffee for once.

"_You have fifteen seconds from the beep to open the door."_

The hell?

He shook his head, but pulled the door open, and went inside.

If he'd been expecting the inside to resemble the outside, he wouldn't have been more wrong in his entire life.

One wall was covered in what looked like solid steel shelves designed to look like wood. Huge cat trees branched off down the wall and way up to the ceiling. There were hammocks everywhere, and sofas, chairs…

_This ain't no kind of business I've ever seen._

A flash of movement caught his eye and Leon jumped out of his damn skin when something slipped around one corner. "The hell…?"

Once he noticed that one, all the others seemed to stand out around him.

Lickers made use of those cat trees and climbing shelves and hammocks, their faces unnerving as they locked onto him without the ability to see his precise location.

Leon watched one long lizard tongue flick out to taste the air, then another, and another. Then, just like that, he was dismissed as not worth bothering with. The Lickers went back to snoozing in the sunshine, their appearance an excellent camouflage against the wall.

His lips quirked up at the total contempt shown by the creatures and how much of a threat he wasn't.

_I think I'm offended._

Leon found his chuckle interrupted by a petite young woman with baby blonde hair and blue eyes. He put her around 12 or 13, 14 at the maximum.

"Agent Kennedy?" Came the voice from the intercom. "My name's Sherry. Sherry Birkin. I live here with Claire and Tyranos. I know I'm not supposed to answer the door by myself now, what with the meanies and stuff, but Tyranos is here and so I'm not reaaaaaaaally by myself, am I?"

The hell was he supposed to say to that?

"And Tyranos is…?"

Sherry Birkin puffed up proud as could be and gestured towards a Tyrant, who stood eyeballing him something fierce.

Leon gave the Tyrant a cheeky salute, only to receive a single finger birdy in response.

The agent grinned and turned back to the kid. Wished to hell he'd brought one of the agency's fake badges and I.D cards. This kid looked to be the type who loved that sort of stuff. There was always next time.

"Agent Kennedy?" The kid bit her lip before more words left her mouth in rapid fire. "You'll find out who's doing this, wont you, Agent Kennedy? Who's been illegally breeding Lickers? There's been 43 pups dumped into our garbage. Claire only managed to save 15."

Leon's breath hissed between his teeth.

Illegally breeding Lickers? Shit.

He didn't get a chance to say anything as the girl carried on talking.

"...It's just that they're blind and they're born without skulls and they're _sooooo_ vulnerable and somebody's been breeding them for their bile and-and you'll help us, won't you? You'll help us save the Lickers and shoot the meanies dead? Please say you'll help us."

Little hands were clasped in front of her chest and she stared up at him, begging, pleading for him to help.

"Sherry." A voice came loud and clear from his left. A voice that was pure femininity and laced with jazz club sugar honey. "At least let Agent Kennedy have a cup of coffee first before you turn on the angel eyes. Now, shoo, o' demon child."

The kid tried to protest. "But _Claaaairreee_..."

Miss Redfield laughed. "You do want motorcycle lessons when you turn 16, right?"

And Agent Leon Kennedy melted into a big, sexy hormonal ball of libido.

xxxx

Unbeknownst to his colleagues, Leon's mom was a former music teacher and so he knew voice types. The baritone, tenor, mezzo, mezzo-soprano, coloratura... He knew them all and could pick 'em out a mile away, so when he heard that female voice come tinged with that low feminine range?

It went straight to his blood in the way only a contralto voice could.

Contralto sat between tenor and mezzo-soprano in vocal range. This gave the voice all the weight and power right from F3 all the way to F5 without turning into the bubbly sweetness of soprano.

Unfortunately, a true contralto was the rarest amongst singers, with the most famous of all being Karen Carpenter and Kathleen Ferrier.

If soprano was bubbly champagne and pretty girls on rollerskates, then contralto was a smoky jazz club where women wore t-bar Mary Janes and silk stockings held up by suspenders.

"Agent Kennedy?"

Leon plastered a smile on his face and quickly draped his jacket over his forearm.

_There. That oughta keep my hard-on hidden._

His boots hissed as he turned to face the woman he presumed to be Miss Redfield, and oh. Oh, sweet merciful Zeus.

Right there in front of him was a pair of storm grey eyes that sparkled up at him with all the electric of a mid-July thunder show.

Leon smiled his best smile to cover his libido howling at the moon in its undies. "Miss Redfield?"

Shiny berry red lips quirked up and he was lost. "Please, it's just Claire. Miss makes me sound like one of those debutantes that live in the Hamptons."

Lost.

_Babygirl, I'mma show you the world from the back seat of my car._

A shapely eyebrow jolted up into...

Aww, hell.

Contralto voice, berry red pout, and red hair? If she dressed up as Jessica Rabbit, he'd marry her.

"Are you okay, Agent Kennedy? Do you need some water or..."

Leon caught sight of Tyranos out the corner of his eye and the asshat Tyrant hid a smirk with his fake detective hat.

He gave his head a shake.

"Sorry, Miss… Uh, Claire." Leon bit his tongue in half. "Claire. I wasn't expecting someone so" juicy hot and vocal "… Well, I wasn't expecting _you_."

A hint of throaty laughter littered her words. "I wasn't expecting someone who wasn't Barry Burton, but here we are."

"Disappointed?"

Claire snorted. "And suffer a relentless assault on why I'm wrong to hate mayo on my cheeseburgers? I'll stick with you, thanks."

Leon blinked. Dream. Woman. "You hate mayo on burgers? I hate mayo on burgers. Ever been to Emmy's?"

Red hair bounced and his pants got uncomfortable. "I go to Sally's. Why? You asking me out, agent Kennedy?"

"It would be a helluva first date." His libido danced the rumba.

"Date?" Came the voice of a nosey pre-teen. "You're going to be Claire's new _boyfriend_?"

"Workin' on it, kid."

"Sherry!" Claire said, a candy pink hue slowly swept across both of her cheeks. "And you, Agent Kennedy. Stop encouraging her."

Leon shrugged. He had at least one accomplice here if the kid's two thumbs up were any indication.

Miss Redfield regarded him a moment, head tilted to one side and lips pursed. "Let's get this case over with first, then we'll see about that date."

He frowned when those thunder eyes blinked away an overly bright shine while that big ass smile of hers faltered just enough to make his gut clench.

"It's bad, isn't it?" Leon throat punched his libido and stuffed it into a closet.

The future Missus Kennedy needed her future husband's support.

"You'll understand better if I show you, Leon… If I can call you Leon?"

If?

"You can call me anything you want." He peered at her in a way that made sure she knew he was wholly serious. "Though I'm pretty partial to Hot Stuff and Fluffy."

The Tyrant gave him a look that clearly said _moron._

Claire laughed a laugh of delight, but it was overshadowed with enough exhaustion to put bags under those eyes of hers.

And hell, but he could be an insensitive jackass at times.

"Tyranos?" She called out. "Will you make us all some strong coffee and order something to eat for everyone? And make sure doctor Bhandari doesn't forget to eat this time, either."

The giant monster man doffed his hat in a way that said _"Sure thing, boss lady."_

Claire's expression softened when she looked back at Leon. "So, ready to meet the surviving pups?"

"Lead the way, ma'am."

Xxxx

Claire's little apartment was her.

The mismatched furniture that perfectly blended together in a patchwork design of bright colours that made him think of beaches and sand bunnies. Pretty shades of pink were offset with lilac and lemon while shades of purple blended down into midnight indigo.

Artwork lined one wall with motorcycles from Ducati, Kawasaki, and the mandatory Harley D. The opposite wall had a large frame that surrounded photos of her family and friends. Sherry's beaming face stood out to him from her place next to one big mutha with dark hair.

"That brick house is my brother, Chris." Claire said as she handed a cup of coffee over to him.

"Brother. Good." Leon nodded. No competition thus far. "Is that Barry? Barry Burton?"

"Yup! That's Jill, my brother's fiancee. Moira, Barry's daughter. My friend Steve. He comes to help out when he's home from school. That there is the countess Veronica Ashford the First. This is her house we live in. She willed it to me after I found out her grandchildren were poisoning her."

"Hey. I remember reading about that. She doing alright?"

Claire beamed. "Very. She shares the small cottage here with grandpa Alby, the former Nemesis Patriarch…"

No.

Freaking.

_Way!_

Leon almost choked in his effort to swallow his coffee. "You? You're the kid who couldn't say Neimachlan cos her baby teeth fell out?"

Her laughter was like music. "No! That was Jill. Alby adores her. Jill and I go play and sing for the Countess and grandpa every second Sunday of the month. You can come next week if you have the stones to be in the same room as a retired Patriarchal Nemesis."

He scoffed. "I eat Patriarchal Nemeses for a midnight _snack_."

Those strawberry lips of hers twitched a little. "Lemme show you the pups before dinner arrives."

Leon followed her instructions to keep noise to a minimum as she lead him into the guest room. The light was switched off and the curtains were practically nailed shut to prevent anyone from seeing the vulnerable pups alone in her apartment.

"Shush. Down here." Affection flooded those stormy eyes as she flipped on a soft light that seemed far too harsh in the near pitch black.

He counted them from one all the way through to fourteen. Fourteen pups? "They're all from the same litter? But I thought Lickers only had a maximum of six pups?"

Claire swallowed. "Yeah."

He eased his body down onto the floor in order to get a better look at the bitty creatures. There were abnormalities, of that he was certain. Five of them were wearing diapers while three others had an odd sort of snuffling noise when they exhaled. The three smallest had little masks over their faces and he followed the wires to a tank of oxygen that whirred quietly just to the side of the pups' yurt.

"The pups in diapers are paralysed ones and the smols struggling to breathe are brachycephalic."

"That means the skulls are too short for their species or something, right?" Leon shook his head. "Lickers don't have skulls. So how..."

Claire slipped a little 3D printed hat off the head of one pup and Jesus H fucking _Christ_.

He'd been an agent for going on eight years now. He had experienced combat on four continents, taken down two drug cartels and he'd seen some shit, but this…

She replaced the little hard hat designed to keep those little heads safe.

Leon pressed his lips to the top of her head once, twice. "It'll be okay."

If these pups were the survivors, then he didn't want to think about the others, what state they had been on discovery.

He pressed the back of his knuckles against his mouth as Claire carefully picked one of the fatter pups, waking it up in the process.

"This one here is called Mindy. She was born in breach. See here? Look at how the back paws are bent towards the abdomen. The birth canal on a female Licker pushes the head and neck out together, their spines are more convex as pups, so they pretty much birth in a ball. Compacted tendons in the rear paws are a sure sign of a breach birth. There are mamas out there who are being bred over and over, Leon. They throw the damaged good into the bins at our home. Sherry has found them starved to death. She was 12. 12 years old and she found baby Lix starved to death in our bins."

She paused to regroup and get her temper back in check. "Fourteen of them have some form of paralysis, Leon."

Claire clutched the pup to her chest, protecting it, loving it, petting it so sweetly. The Licker hissed up a yawn and a lizard tongue rolled out with far less muscular control than any other Licker he'd seen in his years.

_So paralysis of the rear legs and incontinent because of it, lack of oral control, and trouble breathing properly. Potential dwarfism. Definitely illegal breeding. I'mma find these bastards and let Tyranos whack the fuckers into next year._

Mindy stuffed her too-small head under Claire's chin and that lizard tail began to twitch. The too-small mouth opened wide in an effort to chew on that very same chin while a set of tiny razorblades kneaded one perfectly round boob.

"Ow! Damnit! Would you stop?!"

Leon chuckled and reached out to unhook the talons before the pup turned her head his way. He couldn't help the snort of laughter at the sight. Itty bitty Licker pup born blind, paralysed, and with every hunter instinct still firmly intact.

If it hadn't been for the pastel pink hard hat, he might have been a bit on edge when the lizard tongue flicked out to taste the air around him. "Well, aren't you just sweetness all over, huh?"

He took the pup completely and held her at his eye level. "My name's Leon Kennedy. I'mma find out who did this to you and your brothers and sisters."

Mindy's snake tongue rasped over his five o'clock shadow and that tiny squeak of a hiss so unique to Licker pups sounded out. "That's exactly what I'mma do. And if your pretty mama loans me Tyranos? I'll find the bastards, he can whack the fuckers, and we got 'em. Easy peasy."

One teensy tiny pup mouth opened as far as Mindy could get it and Leon knew what was coming, almost didn't do it, but what the hell. Turned the pup to face his soon-to-be fiancee and let the Licker sneeze ten tons worth of snot in Claire's direction.

"You _bastard_!" Claire shrieked, disgust all over her beautiful face. Then, suspicion came. "You… You knew Mindy was going to sneeze, didn't you? You've been around Lix before?"

Leon shrugged and made himself comfortable on the floor, with Mindy stretching her too-small body out over his chest. "Love 'em. My mom once reported a murder happening behind our house a few years ago. Said it sounded like a woman was being butchered by a drunken Jack the Ripper with a bad aim."

Those storm irises sparkled again, brighter than before, and if he didn't know better, he'd say that was what happiness looked like on the face of a woman with a crush. And when she spoke this time? Oh, but that contralto voice came out throaty hot and so full of the words _I Do._

"Mating?" Claire jolted her eyebrows.

"Five of 'em. Two females in full estrus with three Alpha males, I think." Leon winced when Mindy's hard hat bashed his jaw, then winced again at the feel of two little creature feet instead of four. No matter, since her disability didn't appear to hold her back.

Claire disappeared a moment and he raised his head to find her shuffling to where she could lay next to him, yet have her eyes on the other sleeping pups at the same time. "You really like them, don't you? Lickers?"

"The police academy has several that return to the large lake at the same time every year. I called one of 'em Vader, of course. The guys sneak them sushi." He paused. This business of hers and the pups put images in his head that simply pissed him off.

The warm feel of Claire's hand on his face comforted him. He stole the opportunity to kiss her palm. "Vader and your buddies will be fine, Leon. All those cops? Safest place in the world."

"Still." He rolled his tongue over his teeth. "It couldn't hurt to check in. Let the guys know what's going on."

"You're really going to help us, aren't you? And not just because it's your job." She averted her gaze for a moment, biting her lower lip, and the shyness of it made his balls ache. "Still want that dinner date?"

_SCORE!_

"Gratitude? Cos I could live with that." Leon glanced at her, grinning utter filth her way.

"Very." Claire rolled closer to him and those titties of hers all squishy good against his ribcage. "Very." One long, lithe leg slid down to where his thigh skimmed what would be a pretty juiced up coochie. "Grateful."

_SCORE!_

He shot modesty between the eyes and booted decency straight in the kisser, then clotheslined the shit out of self-respect. "Sweet. I'll have my stuff moved in by tomorrow. I'll take over feeding the pups so you can get some sleep this century. You gotta be well-rested before Leon Smash."

She laughed and laughed some more and it was so, so good, all raw contralto power and heady. A contagious sort of excitement that rolled off her when she looked at him next. Her smile was big enough to flash both rows of pearly whites and make one little dimple right at the corner of those berry red pouters.

"Do you always move this fast or am I special?" Claire asked. "But Leon. You have to know. Sherry, Lix, Tyranos… We're a package. You try, you buy."

Leon made her look at him, let her see his intentions were honest and true under his lewd words. Brushed his thumb over that plush mouth of hers and her tongue flicked out to steal a taste, and _fuuucckkk_. Now his prick throbbed in his damn pants.

Bold enough to give what she got and determined not to give freebies to every horny male that sauntered her way.

"Want in on my crazy world, Agent Kennedy?"

Did he want in?

"Lady." Leon said frankly. "I've got a Lix snoring on my moobs and a standing ovation in my pants. Only thing left is finding the asswipes breeding our Lickers and getting that ring on your finger so we can have us plenty of pregsercise to make Sherry a big sister. Are _you_ in, Claire Redfield?"

Her answering screech woke the babies.


End file.
